I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
