my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
