Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
