I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Are my feet made of real feet?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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