i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can you bring me the toilet please
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
