Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
