I am in a vortex of obligation.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
