My first STD was from a foam party
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I understand Curling. That high.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
