she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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