We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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