so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
that's an acceptable place to lick
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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