He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
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I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
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My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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