I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
