Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
