can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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