i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
