I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
