Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
