your parents love me but you hate me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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