Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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