There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
