brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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