talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
