I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Still dying that you shit outside
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
