i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
