We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
