If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize