I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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