I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
