Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
