i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
