Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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