uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im holly from the hills drunk
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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