we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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