I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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