He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i came on her dog
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
