Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
