butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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