in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
