This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
