I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the condom got lost in my hair
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
