I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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