He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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