I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
