you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
