I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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