The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
