So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
