wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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