I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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