my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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