You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
