Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
