They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
