I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
