She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
