I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
