So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
