Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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