Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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