i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
